First off let me warn you that I might just come off sounding like a class A drama queen and I really don't mean to. Seriously. But I have a lot of thoughts and feelings and traumas and dramas and boogeymen swirling around inside me and they never get to come out. The pressure that has built up from this is unbelievable. It's a huge, hard ball inside me that pulses and aches constantly. It's driven me to do things, to myself, that I am pretty ashamed about. I thought I had grown past all that but it's back full force so I need to get it out and talking to people about it all is useless. Usually no one wants to hear. I've literally been cut off mid-sentence when trying to talk about stuff or people turn what I'm saying around so that it's focused on them and I'm insignificant...again. Then there is the useless advice they insist will fix everything.

So instead of relying on people to help me (they ALWAYS let you down - fact) I've decided to do it myself. I'm hoping this site will be a safe non-judgemental place for me to unload. So that's it I guess. I don't provide any contact info so if you feel the need to join the other people in my life and tell me what I'm doing wrong, how it's all my fault or just to offer some of the aforementioned useless advice, you're shit out of luck.